For this week’s challenge Courtney asks us to remember what it was about us that captivated our husband early in our relationship and to share our dating story and photos.
My husband and I met in college. It was January 1991, the first day back after the winter break. I was sitting in a chair in the lobby of the C building reading a US New and World Report magazine waiting for my next class. He sat down on the sofa that was next to my chair and started a conversation. We talked for probably 30 minutes or more and he asked me if it would be alright if he called me sometime. I gave him my phone number and we talked on the phone each night that week and also saw each other around campus. That weekend we went on our first date – dinner at Valentino’s and a movie ( Lionheart with Jean Claude Van Damme). From the very beginning, we were very comfortable together. I didn’t have the first date jitters and he said he didn’t either. Being together was like being with a long time friend.
I know that he was captivated by me back then and wanted to spend every minute with me. He would drive to my house every morning so that we could ride to school together. When we weren’t in class during the day, we would spend time together hanging out on campus or at the mall. Then we would drive back to my house where we would spend time together until my curfew, which was early. After that he would go straight home and call me. Our days were mostly spent surrounded by friends and family, so this time at the end of the day is when we were really able to connect with each other. To share our dreams and to make plans for a future together.
I did know that he was captivated by me, but as I began writing this post I realized that I didn’t know what he had found so captivating. I asked him if he would write about himself so that I would understand. He’s on the road working this week and one night he called me from his hotel and read what he had written. In his message, he wrote about his feelings when he saw me and spoke to me for the first time. He wrote about his memories of our first date and times we spent together during the early part of our relationship. It was all very sweet.
There are a few things that he mentioned in that message that tell me what he was captivated by. First of all, my looks. That’s just natural since the first thing you notice about a person is how they look. I still try to keep myself looking nice, but I don’t obsess about it since I know that beauty is fleeting. The thing about my looks in particular that he mentioned a few times was my hair. He liked my long blonde hair and still does. I have had my hair cut shoulder length a few times during our marriage, but mostly I have worn it long since I know that’s how he prefers it. Recently, I’ve been thinking of getting my hair cut. I’ve been wanting a more updated look and considering how I might want to get it cut. Now I’ve reconsidered and will continue to wear it long. I think I’ll just start trying new ways to wear it instead of my trusty pony tail.
Another thing that he mentioned was how sweet and soft spoken I was. I remember that he always described me that way back then. I don’t think he sees me that way anymore. I see myself that way, but if I’m really honest with myself that’s not how I am most of the time. Somewhere along the way I have become a yeller! A lot of times I feel like I have to yell to be heard in a house full of loud boys, but I do need to stop that. I need to try to do a better job of setting the example of keeping a calmer atmosphere in our home.
He also liked that it was easy to talk to me. Like I said that’s something that we did a lot of at night. We still talk on the phone a lot, especially since he travels a lot now. But our conversations tend to be about family issues and problems we’re facing. They also tend to be interrupted by the kids or just life. Since we are apart so much, we really should go back to having our nightly bonding phone conversations. It would probably be better to keep our daytime calls short and just to say I’m thinking about you and leave the real conversations to after the kids are asleep.
I never realized how important it is for a wife to keep as many of her fun girl like qualities as she can. I have been acting like a girl lately. But, I’m afraid I’ve been acting like a spoiled whining little girl and not cute, captivating or fun loving at all. It’s hard for me to be without him while he’s working and I really do need him, but I need to be more mindful of the things that he needs from me too. Lord help me to be all that he needs me to be!
